Spiritual Sleep Paralysis

"I'm leaving for work," my wife comes around to my side of the king size bed and leans in to kiss me.

If it's not a king size bed, it feels like one. For some reason, it feels different in the summer - falling into our bed is like doing a trust fall into an oasis of feathers that don't itch, but massage all of your muscles and sore spots. And it's not weird because they're feathers, not the hands of a leper. 

I look on my phone that never made it to the nightstand last night; fortunately, I did plug it in before my eyes became too heavy to stay awake. 

6:58am.

I would have already gotten out of the shower and dabbing my neck with cologne if it were just another average Thursday morning workday. But it's not an average Thursday morning workday - it's summer. My mind faintly recalls a time when waking up before this time was not only possible, but frequently accomplished, but my eyelids don't remember and don't care. Back to bed I go.

Summer break Thursdays for non-working teachers hit different, and every summer, I am one of them. Two years into my teaching career, I was content not working over summers, mainly for health reasons (pouring myself into my career for 180 school days can be grueling and time consuming for most of the school year), but partially because my summer breaks consist of six short weeks of vacation. The school I spent a majority of my career teaching in operated on a year-round schedule, where our fall, winter, and spring breaks are stretched out an extra week while our summer breaks are shorter than the other schools in the area and in general. Therefore, it wouldn't make much sense to me to work elsewhere for six weeks and then jump right back into another school year.

The moment day one of summer break begins, my wife wakes me every morning to kiss me just like my body kisses early mornings goodbye as I melt into the gigantic bed. During the school year, the roles are reversed as I am often the one waking her up. I often wonder during the summer weeks if I have any control over waking up earlier than 8am, though. Even sitting up to kiss my wife goodbye on a summer break feels like my head is filled with concrete and my lips have been in Han Solo's Cryo Freeze chamber for the first 30 years of my existence. 

The best my body can give me before 8am on summer mornings is five minutes - enough time to mumble my well-wishes and encouragement to my wife as she departs for work right after kissing her goodbye, feed the dogs if my second half hasn't already done so, and play half of Wordle on my phone before going back to bed and sleeping through three alarms.

I joke that I "took a nap until 10am" to convince myself that I didn't sleep in as if the five minutes I was up before my wife left for work counted as being awake. Though I joke about this version of Josh, I actually hate dealing with my half-dead body over the summer.

Every school year, I have two or three kids in my class who will sit in the back of the room, with their elbow resting on their desk and their arm stretching up to their chin where their hand rests. Their not listening, but looking at the top of my head as if a giant cockroach were on it playing a fiddle in front of an audience of children cockroaches. They might not be imagining a musically talented cockroach playing fiddler on the forehead, but they're certainly not focusing on learning about the area of an irregular shape. 

Once summer begins and my body tells me there's no reason to wake up early, I become that daydreaming student. My mind drifts to what it would feel like to wake up at 7:30 and spend my summer day being productive from sunup to sundown. Instead, my body disconnects from what my mind wants and wakes up at 10:30 - at that point, my wife has 2.5 hours of work under her belt. Can you imagine what could be done with 2.5 hours, other than sleep?

Give yourself a break, Josh; it's ok to sleep in every once in a while. The problem is, dear reader, is this happens EVERY DAY of summer. Eventually my mind and body have to be sick of it and use the summer to wake up when normal working adults wake up. 

After having an ounce of empathy for me, your next thought might be to change your sleep schedule. Go to bed earlier! You say, going into problem-solving mode as if I didn't think of this concept before. I have tried this idea, and on top of that, I have also gone to bed past 1am on a worknight - doesn't matter, you can't convince my summer break brain to wake up before 8am if it doesn't have to. I have taught a full day of school on 3 hours of sleep before - I wouldn't recommend making a habit out of this, but it's in these moments I note that it has nothing to do with what time I go to bed, but what time of the year it is. 

If I'm being honest with myself, I sometimes feel this way spiritually too. I tell myself I will kickstart my relationship with God the same I would a 2008 Toyota Camry with a bad battery. If I just open my Bible to the right book, read the right chapter from the right Christian book, listen to the right podcast, or find the right friend to confide in at the right coffee shop, I will successfully replace the bad battery in my life with a new one that will make my walk with Jesus better.

Me next to my 2008 Toyota Camry in 2018

Or worse. I sleep in. I get it, we all need sleep. If you need a swift reminder of this fact, go back to your college days when you were often confused about what your degree was in because you were a master at pulling all-nighters. Forget your bachelor's degree, you were getting your PHD in managing your life on an average of 28 minutes of sleep. 

Like any habit, our bodies, mind, and behavior normalize what we commit to focusing on in our lives. When I was in college, I normalized getting through the day on minimal sleep because I did it so often. The worse part about getting minimal sleep is not necessarily the physical effects, but the gravitational pull this habit has on you when it becomes a daily occurrence. Once you're neck-deep in the habit, you fail to recognize the unhealthy effect it has on you unless someone uses their entire being to pull it out of you.

Though the literal act of sleeping is a necessity, Paul warns us of the effect of using God's promise of salvation as a reason to shrug off the significance of spiritual practices. Why? Because our fight is not against flesh and blood, but something much more powerful. If you were a soldier in the middle of war and you decided to grab a few Zs, you would not only be a threat to your comrades, but you would put your own life and the mission at risk as well.

According to 1 Thessalonians 5:6-8, "Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober." When we consider the context of who Paul is writing to - the church in Thessalonica - it makes  sense. As we live under the protection of the knowledge of our salvation, we can easily become apathetic towards building a habit out of spiritual practices. I already believe in God and I am confident of my place in Heaven, we are prone to think. Matthew Henry Commentary tells us this should be a primary reason to not slacken in our walk with Christ: "...If we have hope in salvation, let us take heed of any thing that would shake our trust in the Lord." 

As someone who has a distaste for early mornings (according to my body), the biggest draw towards sleeping in is the comfort of my silk pillow, the warm blanket, and the soft mattress my body rests on. If it were a school day, and I allowed my desire to sleep in to trump my responsibilities as an educator, I would jeopardize my current position and potentially my career altogether because of my inability to show up, let alone prepare for, the students I am about to teach that day. Me prioritizing sleep over career would categorize me as ineffective in a field where so many children, parents, and co-workers are counting on me to be distinguished at what I do. Furthermore, if I shrugged off sleeping through my responsibilities with the excuse that I hope my kids can learn on their own without my assistance, I would most certainly be fired from my job and probably never get a good recommendation for the next one.

Similarly, if I rely too heavily upon the hope of my salvation and do not respond to this hope with faithfulness and allegiance to my duty as a Christ-follower - a disciple - I am sleeping on the job. Hope, used properly, partners with preparation in action. And what does hope look like in action? By how we live in community with others as ambassadors of the Truth. Our motivation, if not just to keep ourselves in pursuit of our connection with God, should be to "set a good example one before another" (Matthew Henry Commentary) and to encourage one another in preparation for Christ's return (See Hebrews 10:24-25). How can we help one another stay the course when we're using our time sleeping instead of staying prepared and focused on our duty as Christ-followers? Similar to the phrase, "I can't take care of you if I can't take care of myself," we need diligently stay awake in our faith in order to encourage others in theirs.

Hebrews 6:12 does an excellent job of summarizing the power of community and our duty to be wide awake in our spiritual walk into one succinct statement: "We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised." In other words, don't let apathy prevent you from following in the footsteps of the faithful before us by imitating them in order to inherit what was promised to us.

So, how do we avoid becoming another victim of spiritual sleep paralysis? 

First, we must recognize and admit that the battle is bigger than the physical. Ephesians 6:12 - "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Second, we actively develop healthy habits that Jesus did to prepare ourselves for the bigger war being fought; Jesus fasted, Jesus prayed, Jesus spent time in the community and with his closest friends (he didn't isolate himself), Jesus remained obedient to God, and Jesus let the Word of God drive his mission (see Matthew 4 when he is tempted). In other words, do what Jesus did while he walked the earth. 

Third, do not give up! Often, I connect my circumstances to God's goodness rather than connect God's goodness to my circumstances. Our circumstances change like the weather - God is unchanging. Paul made it clear to the church of Galatia how he, Titus, and Barnabas and fought the spiritual war: "...we did not give up and submit to these people ['false brothers'] for even a moment" (Galatians 2:5). They did not give up, according to Paul, because they had a purpose, which was to preserve the Gospel for the Galatians. If we remain true to who we are under the eternal protection and unconditional love of Christ, not allowing our circumstances to sway our faith, we will be "strong and immovable" (1 Corinthians 15:58) in our allegiance to Christ. 

Like most aspects of our life, our decisions are a part of the cause-and-effect cycle. All of our reactions and responses are a result of the previous experiences we've had. Therefore, if we make our daily life decisions and place them through the filter of these three steps, the Holy Spirit will help us remain sober, vigilant, and diligent to our duty as disciples of Jesus.

Consider what Paul said to the Ephesians: 

"'Wake up, sleeper. Rise from the dead, and Christ will shine upon you.' Be careful, then, how you live - not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."

So, the choice is yours. Will you sleep through your responsibilities, or embrace them and allow God to take you on an adventure with him?

Who Pooped? Two Strategies to Overcome Strongholds

  On April 24th, 2024, Diggs pooped in the house. It's easy to remember the date because the entire house smelled like a field full of manure - you know the smell.

And to make matters worse, no, Diggs never tells us. His face never does either - not even a low growl. If I pooped in the house and outside of the toilet bowl, I would at least growl at it.

Look no further than this before and after of Diggs as evidence.

Before me asking Diggs if he took a doo doo on the ground of the living room:

After me asking if he took a doo on the ground of the living room:

In the second photo, he believes his adorable looks will help us turn a blind eye to the atrocious crime he committed on this day.

Paul addressed the church of Corinth in one of his letters and said, "We do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:3-5). 

Sometimes, those strongholds Paul is referred to look a lot like Diggs and his poop incident before and after I ask him if he did the dirty deed or not - they are disguised as a struggle sent from God himself. Look no further than Job; one of the book's major themes is to not listen to your friends who misidentify a struggle as God's punishment. Jobs friends tried to convince him that his pain and suffering is a result of God's wrath over Job's misdeeds, when it was clear in the beginning of this story that Job was upright and as blameless as they come. Satan's design is to use strongholds as a means to distance from God, but plenty of strongholds are not designed to look like strongholds until you're waist-deep in it. From a distance, Diggs looks innocent until proven guilty. With Diggs' never-ending cuteness combined with his "I will remain silent until I get a lawyer" attitude, Amanda is much closer to believing I pooped on the living room rug than he did. 

It can be easy to believe lies about God when a rumor, difficulty, or impossible season seems to support that lie about Him, especially when the situation is so personal. Unfortunately, the moment we consider the world's "God" over the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and the Bible, we are like a house built on sand, easily overtaken by the waves of the world.

So, how do we "demolish strongholds" that do a good job disguising themselves the way Diggs disguises his misdeed? 

1. We go through strict training of the mind - one of the foundations of our belief in God.

2. We use the power of self-discipline and discernment to act on those Biblical truths

Strict Training of the Mind:

Paul makes it clear that we are all competing in a race, and to win the race for the "crown that lasts forever," (1 Corinthians 9:25) we must go through strict training. How? First, we need to admit that our mind is just as important than any other muscle: we need to workout the mind to be filled with thoughts that bring us near to Jesus. We can't go to the gym and only workout the muscles that are visible to the world around us. The mind also needs proper exercise. 

Typically, when we think of the mind, we think of the thoughts that go in and out of it like a revolving door. While this is true, it also dictates much more than the thoughts that live inside of it.

Jennie Allen, from her award-winning book Get Out of Your Head, says this about the mind:

"Our emotions lead us to thoughts, those thoughts dictate our decisions, and our decisions determine our behaviors, and then our behaviors shape our relationships which lead back to our healthy or unhealthy thoughts."

In other words, appropriate attention and focus on giving the mind its proper nutrients will strengthen more than just your thoughts, but our emotions, decisions, behaviors, and our relationships too. Admitting that our mind needs to consistently be plugged into sources that strengthen it will help us focus on finding ways to feed it with intentionality and purpose.

Secondly, When we stray from those thoughts, it is important to partake in spiritual practices that reground us in the mind of Christ (fasting, prayer, Sabbath, surrounding yourself with Christian community, etc.). As a vital part of God's creation, it only makes sense to go back to the source to get filled up when our tank is empty and we're prone to the distractions Satan places in our path. Any one of the spiritual formation practices mentioned above will help us build the discernment we need to go to war against strongholds that oppose the will of God.

From Self-Discipline & Discernment to Action:

 

In one of Paul's letters to Timothy, he encourages him of this one simple truth: The Spirit of God within us gives us power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). When we lean into this verse, we become mentally aware of the strongholds that Satan uses to remove us from the race. In one of his letters to a church in Galatia, Paul tells the people they were running a good race, "Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth" (Galatians 5:7)? Self-discipline and proper discernment will prevent you from drifting towards unbiblical truths that distance you from God. When your mind is distanced from God, so will your behavior, emotions, and actions. 

On the other hand, if you submit your thoughts to Christ and the Truth found in the Word, and remain consistent in keeping your mind focused on Him, he will continue to draw near to you as you draw near to Him (see James 4:7-8). Where self-discipline and discernment come in is when you're steadfast in your dedication to make Christ a priority in your mind, he will give you the discernment you need to make the right decisions when you are faced with a stronghold. 

When we embrace the journey of working out our mind to be in alignment with Christ, taking thoughts captive and making them obedient to Him, we can spot the source of the poop that tries to distance us from our Creator because as we give our minds over to Him, He gives us the strength, discipline, and discernment to take action against those strongholds.

Next time Satan uses a poopy situation to distance you from the truth, you'll know the source of the stink and how to clean it up because you have strategies that put you on the right side of the of the Spiritual Battle: right next to Christ as he fights with you.

From the Mountains to the Valleys - What Goes Up, Must Come Down

“…the real fight only begins when you’re away from the camp. Never relax so long as you’re in enemy territory. Never get drunk with freedom…for you never know who is lying in the bushes.”

This quote derives from The Auschwitz Escape, a historical fiction book by Joel C. Rosenberg about the courageous escape of two prisoners from the Auschwitz Concentration Camp* during World War II.

*To be abundantly clear up front, I am not comparing my own first-world difficulties to the horrors and atrocities a prisoner of Auschwitz experienced for years of their life. I am comparing my spiritual journey and the experiences that come with it to any camp that isolates you from the real world so you can gain experience in a particular area of your life that the camp provides, promotes, or dictates. It is purely coincidental that the quote comes from a book about the Holocaust.

One of the common phrases I heard in church circles growing up, especially as summer youth group trips wrapped up and we were a short three weeks away from the start of another school year, was “the spiritual high won’t last forever”, “you will eventually come down from the mountaintop and back to reality,” or “the hard part is not being on the spiritual high, but what you do when you get back to the routine.”

It wasn’t just a warning to all of us young Christians trying to understand our newfound faith or rediscover it in new ways, but foreshadowing about the difficulties to come. I still remember those pep talks, with 72 of preteens and young adults crammed in one room whose layout more closely resembled a cheap motel’s Continental Breakfast space than a place to gather large groups. The theme of the meeting was designed for worship, prayer, and reflection, but most of the conversation stemmed around what to expect after this “mountaintop high” ends and we’re faced with secular reality again.

For the entirety of these summer youth conferences, I recall how invincible I felt because of the loads of inspiration I gobbled up like a starving child. There was no way I would fall victim to my old habits, no way, and most importantly, nothing would stand between my strengthened relationship with God. How could I? I am a new creation, and the emotions I felt on these trips were evidence that no obstacle Satan threw my way would cause me to crumble! I repented, I prayed harder than I’ve ever prayed before, and I memorized worship songs declaring my commitment to the Lord while filling my notebook with sermon notes from Francis Chan, so no worldly desire was strong enough to overcome my bond with Jesus after this. On top of all of this, I had a testimony ready to share with my church upon, my return from traveling out of state. Boy, was I naïve, even if the experiences I had were authentic.

Don’t get me wrong, all of the spiritual things I did on these trips did strengthen me spiritually and did prepare me for the “valleys” of life, but it still didn’t adequately address the pressing question: “What do we do after our supernatural experience is over and we’re thrown back into the world full of people who don’t share the same revelations you did?” When you go on these youth trips, you’re likely one of the 95% of the group who shares the same core thoughts about God. When you reenter society, you become the minority who believes Christ is your Savior and best friend. Will the foundation from the youth conference inspiration I collected in my heart and mind be strong enough for the primetime fight I would endure in the world's boxing ring?

For me personally, these youth group experiences on the mountaintop with God not only gave me steady doses of healthy community and shed more light on who the Creator is, but it affirmed that my choice to pursue Him back was the best choice I ever made in this life. They affirmed me enough to go into the fight outside of the camp with more resources, relationships with other believers, and a strengthened resolve to follow Christ faithfully. So, yes, I would say I did feel strongly that the mountaintop experiences did help me face the giants of the secular world. However, I couldn't face them alone.

With the right people in place, found within these camp experiences, life outside of the four-walls of camp didn't feel like a nightmare or a path to inevitable spiritual destruction because the church community I found myself would enter that same real world as me. However, if I didn't fill my days outside of the camp with accountability and those who pour into my spiritual wellbeing, I would likely be swallowed up by how the world defines God, not how the Word defines Him.

While danger is found hiding in the thick brush waiting to pounce on you, discipleship through accountability is walking through it with you, chopping through the brush with a machete to expose the enemy who is lying there. The machete is the Word of God, what He says about you, and how to respond to anything that does not sound like the truth, and discipleship is the community you're a part of holding that machete. It takes discipline, training, and consistent loyalty to seeking wisdom in the midst of the distractions and lies of the world.

• You don't need God.
• There is no way God exists with all of this evil in the world.
• If God does exist, he's not a good God.
• Just do you. God will only restrict you from doing what you want.
• Why should you follow a God who hurts you? 
• What's the point in being a Christian when you're doing just fine without him?
• You'll be happier doing what you want instead of following God and all of his rules

Some of these lies come from influences around you, and some of them occur in your mind when your experiences with the world don't align with the God you thought you believed in. Either way, without the community we are told to "spur on with love and good deeds, not giving up meeting [with]...but encouraging one another" (Hebrews 10:24-25), we will likely be persuaded by the darkness of the world and taken captive by it - by those lying in the bushes.

When I was a college student attending a university of less than 3,000 students and preparing for my final years of education before embarking on my new career as a classroom teacher, a common phrase I overheard was, “There is no better preparation for teaching than the experience itself.” In other words, to be a good teacher, you have to embrace the challenge of being the teacher in the classroom first. Despite having amazing, approachable professors who knew the education field well and cared, with deep conviction, about my present wellbeing and future success as a teacher,  spending all of my time listening to their lectures, reading the assigned textbooks, taking quality notes, and even observing other elementary school teachers in their classroom were not going to give me the right kind of experience I needed than to call the classroom my own and run it the way I believe it needs to be run.  I would never know what I was capable of if I got my degree in Elementary Education just to shelf it for the rest of my life without trying on the pants to see if they fit.

We can have powerful, supernatural experiences with God on the mountaintop, surrounded by other believers who encourage you in those experiences, and I would encourage that for anyone. You can never have too many godly mountaintop experiences, but you won't know where your faith stands until you step foot outside of the camp and into the world around you. Oswald Chambers once wrote, "We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life- those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength." 

Throughout the years, I have personally enjoyed seeing victory over these enemies because I have engaged godly council not just when I’m on the mountaintop high, but when I’m in the valley, searching for answers that are already in front of me. In the book of James, we are warned that a man who does not do what the Word says is like a man who looks in the mirror but forget what he looks like when he leaves; a part from the Word, we lose our identity in the things the world tries to satisfy us with. Without discipleship in the valley, we are more likely to be that man who forgets his identity. We spend so much time reveling in our freedom that we lose focus of the fact we’re still in enemy territory - in the valley; the valley requires you to be armed with accountability and the Word of God; without it, it’ll swallow you whole. 

When we're on the mountain, we must consider why we're there: to grab onto the inspiration that comes from the Lord in order to take it to the valley when we or our community needs it. To relax in enemy territory means to forget what the mountaintop is for and why the valley exists. Though there is nothing wrong in anticipating the mountaintop, the test comes when we enter the valley after the mountaintop experience has concluded.

We should come down from that mountain with inspiration and use it in the valley to prove our stamina and strength. But we need discipleship and accountability to know when and how to use it in the darkest of times. We can be a light in a dark world that needs Jesus by how we approach both the valley and the mountain with purpose, conviction, and the community that reminds us of our identity and the inspiration we found in Christ.

What will you do with the mountaintop experience? 

Which Kronk will you Listen to?

If you've never seen Disney's The Emperor's New Groove, you're missing out. Regardless, there is a scene in the comedy where the antagonist's quirky and brawny henchman, Kronk, is instructed to dispose of the emperor's body when he turned into a llama instead of dead. Kronk's plan is to throw the emperor into a burlap sack, tie it, and toss the unconscious llama into a waterfall with the hopes that it kills him or somehow makes him disappear. 

Don't worry, it's an animated film, so it's not as violent as you think.

Before Kronk follows through with his plan, a devil Kronk appears on his left shoulder and an angel Kronk appears on his right moments later. I won't spoil the rest of it, but Kronk does eventually listen to one of the celestial shoulder beings and it unravels a string of hilarious moments - even for adults -  throughout the film.

I have been teaching at the same charter school in the same grade level for over 10 years now, and one of the rewards that comes with longevity is that people, namely students, will approach me with eagerness and energy proclaiming how excited they are to be in my class one day...

...four years from now. 

The younger the child, the more passionate they are about their bold prediction of one day being a member of my classroom. Ninety percent of the time, I don't know their name and have never seen them before, even when they tell me their sister's friend's younger brother was in my class seven years ago. You're probably thinking, That math doesn't even make sense. The worse part is when they give you that look like you should know them by name because you taught their sister's friend's younger brother. 

In reality, I always look forward to these interactions because it reminds me of the small joys that come with sticking it out in one career field in one location. After all, who doesn't like to create a name for themselves and leave a lasting legacy that is positive and powerful? Every brief interaction with the little ones is the angel Kronk on my shoulder reminding me that these conversations throughout the school day are checkpoints along the hike of life that remind me I am headed in the right direction. Whenever I face any level of difficulty during the workday, I often cling to them like rations on a battlefield because they keep me focused on why God put me in this position.

Then there is the devil Kronk.

The devil Kronk reminds me how strict, disorganized, unqualified, and clumsy I am, which means these youngsters who claim they'll be in my class one day don't have enough information to know whether they'll succeed in my classroom. Worse, they probably won't like me because I'll find a way to mess up their only 5th grade experience.

I have a running joke with myself that devil Kronk likely loves more than the angel Kronk on the other side:

"Those who enter my class love me. Once they leave my class, they warn others about me." 

The worse part about this joke is there is deep level of truth behind it, though it is not the entire truth. However, when I only focus on the students who defined their 5th grade teacher as strict and difficult, I convince myself there is nothing to be proud of. There goes my legacy, and even if there is one, it's the version where I'm known as the horrible teacher who should be surprised he even has a job in education still. The devil Kronk can do handstands and make me laugh with his subtle jokes, but if I pay too much attention to him, I am doomed because my legacy becomes a believed lie that I allow to go straight down the waterfall with the llama.

Just like me, Paul had his own devil Kronk and angel Kronk. The super apostles (2 Corinthians 11) were his devil Kronks. They were false teachers who appeared to be superior to Paul by manner and authority. Paul was weak in appearance, unsightly, and those he came in contact with held the strong opinion that he should stick to letter writing over public speaking (see 2 Corinthians 10:9-10). Comparitively, Paul had no chance at persuading people by appearance - the good-looking super apostles had him beat by a mile. 

However, where Paul was weak physically and in appearance, he made up for with sound mind, unwavering dedication to his purpose, and self-discipline in his approach to sharing and spreading the Gospel  his mission was led by God and his commitment to what the angel Kronk told him.

When Paul addressed the church in Corinth, he repeatedly modeled how to view your weaknesses as a reflection of Christ's power. 

"Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Paul saw whatever inward or outward sign of weakness as another reason to glorify God because His power and grace would sustain him through all hardship. 

Whether I take the good opinions and criticisms about my teaching with a grain of salt or not, if I put my career in the hands of the Father rather than in my appearance like the super apostles did, I will learn to take the feedback through the lens of Christ and the Holy Spirit (the angel Kronk) in me. 

Sure, the devil Kronk might still exist in my mind, but the idea of him dictating my life sounds more and more laughable by the minute when I have a living, active God who is not only in  my corner, but is worthy of my praise whether I am weak or strong. 

Before Kronk makes his decision to let the sack go down the waterfall or not, the devil Kronk confidently gives the angel Kronk and Kronk three reasons they should listen to his ideas:

Devil Kronk: "Number one - look at that guy! He's got that sissy stringy music thing!"

Angel Kronk (agitated): "We've been through this. It's a harp, and you know it."

Devil Kronk: "Reason number two. Look what I can do."

Devil Kronk then proceeds to do a handstand, and half way through his performance, lifts one hand as a show of strength and skill.

Kronk (confused): What does that have to do with anything?

Whether I am too strict or the greatest teacher of all time. Ultimately, if pleasing God is my end goal, it is Christ in me that will be my positive, powerful legacy.

In light of Christ in me, all Satan can do is a handstand, while the Holy Spirit can help me make decisions that are in alignment with Christ and his will for me.

What the students see when they want me as their teacher is Christ in me, and when I fully embrace the power of the Holy Spirit in my heart and mind, it makes Satan's handstands more comical than intimidating. My dad's version of the devil Kronk is "A lion without teeth." His version is probably more accurate than a miniature Kronk with a mouse voice, devils horns, a trident, and a red wet suit. Regardless, who we listen to will determine how we carry out God's will for our lives.

When Paul was a changed man through God's intervention, he did not turn back - he listened to the angel Kronk voice in him and pressed onward toward the goal to spread the Gospel to as many nations and churches as he could. He understood who lived in him, which carried far more weight than appearing wealthy, knowledgeable, and powerful like the super apostles did.

"I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

- Paul, from Galatians 2:20

Paul knows what it's like to listen to both the angel Kronk and the devil Kronk; he persecuted Christians before he became the Paul we know today. 

God loves to remind me who I am in him, and when students approach me with eagerness and excitement - and a hint of naivety - exclaiming their prediction about being in my future class, it reminds me of the positive, powerful legacy I am creating with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Whether he's a toothless lion or an animated devil in red spandex, our free will and the advocate we are promised in the Holy Spirit gives us the power to not listen to him.

Even if the Holy Spirit is a robed angel with a sissy stringy music thing.