There is a River: Personal Story

With a chapter like this one, it is hard to determine a good place to begin. Since 2013, this chapter has been the philosophy of my life. It has made a tremendous impact on how I should view my relationship with the Lord. It has even given me a deeper understanding of how I should define my lifestyle.

                And it all started with a tree.

                In 2013, I concentrated on what that tree meant to me. It was the opposite of the wicked and it helped propel myself towards obedience in Christ. My devotion was to the Lord. I was promised prosperity through persistent communication with God. Everyone around me benefitted from the joy I gained when I walked in step with the Holy Spirit. “They are like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither,” the words promised. “…Whatever he does prospers” was what gained my attention the most. So, I didn’t walk in step with the wicked. I did not stand in the way of sinners. I guarded my heart, knowing that “everything [I] do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). I “fix[ed] my gaze directly before me.” Nothing could pull me under because the Lord rooted me near streams of water.

                I prospered. I was unshaken and unmovable.

                I blogged about Psalm 1; I drew art about Psalm 1. I even spoke prophetic words about Psalm 1. Everyone knew about Psalm 1 because it rolled off my tongue like a silky milk chocolate from one’s mouth. Life could no longer throw its curveballs. I was free from anything that was wicked.

                …until 2014 hit. I began school year number three. I began to pour into the students, aware that they couldn't pour back into me even if they tried. They are 5^th graders, knowing they need to learn but not always wanting to. I began at a reasonable pace until the students needed me more and more. The more they needed me, the more I poured into them. I loved on them daily, often exchanging my impatient fury for God’s heaven-sent wisdom and delight. Romans 12:8 was my verse. If encouragement was my gift – encourage. If diligence was my gift, serve with a good attitude. Romans 12:8 took me through each day. One thing Romans 12:8 didn’t do was what my chapter could: fill me up when I emptied my all into that classroom. Each night, whether it was 4pm, 6pm, or 10pm, I would leave all of my love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and gentleness (Galatians 5:22) there, behind locked doors. On every desk would be the remains of each Fruit of the Spirit. Was I content? Yes. Unfortunately, I was also empty.

                I was so empty that I couldn’t show anymore fruit in my basket. I would cry randomly, for no reason. If someone looked at me, they would see straight through me. My face would show the emptiness. I was transparent. Then the Lord took me back to 2013. He told me about that same tree, drinking from that same stream. The stream never went dry and the tree never withered. The Lord came down to my level, my empty-cup level, and started filling my roots with that same water, from that same stream. It never went dry. As He poured, He whispered, “When the world beats you down, there is a river.”

                When the world beats you down, there is a river.

                I lost it. My cup overflowed through my eyes and my tree didn’t just drink up. It grew leaves, flowers, and my branches grew thick. Where? That same stream. It never left me, and it never will. I didn’t need to know about how to be righteous. I didn’t need to know what happens to the wicked. I didn’t need to know the difference between the two. I needed to know that God richly blesses the righteous and that I will be richly blessed because “The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to my cleanness in his sight” (2 Samuel 22:25). It is his sight of me that I am righteous, and I made righteous because of His grace.

                The Lord saw me as an empty vessel, and He did what only He could do on that August 28^th, 2014: He filled me up and recharged me so I could continue being a vessel.

                That tree can prosper because there is a particular stream that fills it. Psalm one is all about the stark contrast between the righteous and the wicked. However, it is also about the beauty of God’s unending grace and love when we are “transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). When we choose to be righteous in all we do and allow God to work in us, He promises to fill us with the gifts of the Spirit.

                As we encounter God in a variety of ways, we can rest assure that God will bring us into His glory throughout our lives. Joshua 1:8 says, “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips. Meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” If we fix our eyes on the Lord, He promises to fill us in ways only He can do it. In all you do, remember that His love is available to those who seek Him wholeheartedly.

Whenever you doubt the Lord’s faithfulness. Whenever you feel lonely, doubtful, and burdened. remember:

There is a river (Psalm 1:3).