There is a River: Personal Story

With a chapter like this one, it is hard to determine a good place to begin. Since 2013, this chapter has been the philosophy of my life. It has made a tremendous impact on how I should view my relationship with the Lord. It has even given me a deeper understanding of how I should define my lifestyle.

                And it all started with a tree.

                In 2013, I concentrated on what that tree meant to me. It was the opposite of the wicked and it helped propel myself towards obedience in Christ. My devotion was to the Lord. I was promised prosperity through persistent communication with God. Everyone around me benefitted from the joy I gained when I walked in step with the Holy Spirit. “They are like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither,” the words promised. “…Whatever he does prospers” was what gained my attention the most. So, I didn’t walk in step with the wicked. I did not stand in the way of sinners. I guarded my heart, knowing that “everything [I] do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). I “fix[ed] my gaze directly before me.” Nothing could pull me under because the Lord rooted me near streams of water.

                I prospered. I was unshaken and unmovable.

                I blogged about Psalm 1; I drew art about Psalm 1. I even spoke prophetic words about Psalm 1. Everyone knew about Psalm 1 because it rolled off my tongue like a silky milk chocolate from one’s mouth. Life could no longer throw its curveballs. I was free from anything that was wicked.

                …until 2014 hit. I began school year number three. I began to pour into the students, aware that they couldn't pour back into me even if they tried. They are 5^th graders, knowing they need to learn but not always wanting to. I began at a reasonable pace until the students needed me more and more. The more they needed me, the more I poured into them. I loved on them daily, often exchanging my impatient fury for God’s heaven-sent wisdom and delight. Romans 12:8 was my verse. If encouragement was my gift – encourage. If diligence was my gift, serve with a good attitude. Romans 12:8 took me through each day. One thing Romans 12:8 didn’t do was what my chapter could: fill me up when I emptied my all into that classroom. Each night, whether it was 4pm, 6pm, or 10pm, I would leave all of my love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and gentleness (Galatians 5:22) there, behind locked doors. On every desk would be the remains of each Fruit of the Spirit. Was I content? Yes. Unfortunately, I was also empty.

                I was so empty that I couldn’t show anymore fruit in my basket. I would cry randomly, for no reason. If someone looked at me, they would see straight through me. My face would show the emptiness. I was transparent. Then the Lord took me back to 2013. He told me about that same tree, drinking from that same stream. The stream never went dry and the tree never withered. The Lord came down to my level, my empty-cup level, and started filling my roots with that same water, from that same stream. It never went dry. As He poured, He whispered, “When the world beats you down, there is a river.”

                When the world beats you down, there is a river.

                I lost it. My cup overflowed through my eyes and my tree didn’t just drink up. It grew leaves, flowers, and my branches grew thick. Where? That same stream. It never left me, and it never will. I didn’t need to know about how to be righteous. I didn’t need to know what happens to the wicked. I didn’t need to know the difference between the two. I needed to know that God richly blesses the righteous and that I will be richly blessed because “The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to my cleanness in his sight” (2 Samuel 22:25). It is his sight of me that I am righteous, and I made righteous because of His grace.

                The Lord saw me as an empty vessel, and He did what only He could do on that August 28^th, 2014: He filled me up and recharged me so I could continue being a vessel.

                That tree can prosper because there is a particular stream that fills it. Psalm one is all about the stark contrast between the righteous and the wicked. However, it is also about the beauty of God’s unending grace and love when we are “transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). When we choose to be righteous in all we do and allow God to work in us, He promises to fill us with the gifts of the Spirit.

                As we encounter God in a variety of ways, we can rest assure that God will bring us into His glory throughout our lives. Joshua 1:8 says, “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips. Meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” If we fix our eyes on the Lord, He promises to fill us in ways only He can do it. In all you do, remember that His love is available to those who seek Him wholeheartedly.

Whenever you doubt the Lord’s faithfulness. Whenever you feel lonely, doubtful, and burdened. remember:

There is a river (Psalm 1:3).

Credit Where it is Due

          If David, the author of most of the Psalms, has recognized anything at this point in his life, it is that there is greater promise in the Lord and His sovereign protection. Even if emotional turmoil had to come David’s way to help him understand who is ultimately in charge, David eventually stands confidently by his conclusion about God. As Psalm 3 vividly points out, David is at a point of desperation, and in that desperation, he finds that God is the key to the perfect resting place. Still, one Psalm later, David cries out to God, demanding, “Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress…” (Psalm 4:1).

            For several verses after crying out to God, it is almost as if David is speaking for God: “…how long shall my honor be turned into shame?” (Psalm 4:2) Translation: How long shall God be put to shame by vain words and lies? Then, David reminds those who suffer for the sake of Christ Jesus: “…know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself” (v. 2).  God is everything we need (Psalm 1), and yet He still chooses to set us apart for himself!

            How can we allow our lips to speak lies? How can we utter such obscene insults and lies? The Lord is our righteousness, our source of joy, our lover, and our sunshine that lights our way. He is our shelter, our refuge from war, and our healer – yet he chooses us!

            No wonder David commands us to “ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent (Read Psalm 46: 10)” (Psalm 4:4) We are “set apart” (Psalm 4:3) for Him; sinners, offenders, and scoffers, undeserving of His presence. David understood this more than anyone, after what he had done to sleep with another man’s wife. David realizes God is offering him another chance, and because of this, he wants to make known God’s gift of second chances.

            Despite all David has gone through (committing adultery with his best soldier’s wife, being responsible for killing his best soldier, the death of Amnon (son #2) – Absalom (son #1) murdering him, Absalom’s desire to take over with selfish pride and power, and fleeing from his own son’s worldly desires), he has come to genuinely believe that God is more than words will ever express. He begins this deep, intimate, love relationship with God and therefore cannot stop expressing his devotion to God.

            Most importantly, through fleeing, David submits to his true Authority. He sees the second chance he is given and cannot stop rejoicing. Downcast and covered in his own sin, David sees that there is hope, and he takes every opportunity to glorify God through it.

            And boy, does it change his life.

            Do we allow God’s second chances in our lives effect the way we live again? Do we allow ourselves to “ponder in [our] own hearts on [our] beds, and be silent”? When we commit our lives to Christ, do we sing the way David does? Have we praised the way David has? After all, he is our safety, our refuge, our everything.

           David made certain God received credit for all that was going on in His life. He had developed a habit: praising God continually. Nothing could stop him from singing and reflecting on the goodness of God. In fact, nothing can match the joy he has felt when basking in the presence of the Lord: “You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound” (Psalm 4:7).

            God was everything to David. And, if we are to “ponder…and be silent,” we will find ourselves climbing back into the Father’s arms, taking in with awe the indescribable and inspiring power that the Highest of Highs holds in so many forms; reliever of stress, gracious King, personable and loving, listener, giver of joy, peace bringer, and refuge - a list of only a couple of his many attributes. 

Do we give Him the credit He deserves, like David did?

The Great (Misfortune) Gatsby

He reaches out slowly, as the green light dimly shatters the atmosphere that covers the water. Gatsby desires something he cannot put his hands on. He is desperate, wanting that intangible radiance to become physical, something he can hold, something he can claim to be his own. This green light resembles hope. It resembles everything Gatsby wishes he had. The light creates a steady beat, a heartbeat, and Gatsby will do anything to place it in his possession.

We are like the Gatsby. We live for things we cannot grasp, and we spend our lives trying to grab it. As Gatsby tried to get Daisy back, it ultimately created a frenzy and the illusion that Daisy was free for the taking – that the past could be relived. Unfortunately, we sacrifice our true nature and begin falling in the trap that the green light is why we are alive. We obsess and obsess until the green light vanishes; all we have left is the mess we've created from betraying our true love.

Gatsby, a mysterious young man who hid himself behind the parties he threw, was always considered a highly-regarded gentleman who received praise from the most well-respected officials of the United States and internationally. Yet, his motive behind throwing such decorated parties was plain and simple: to grab the attention of one thing that he could never obtain – Daisy.

We, too often, distract ourselves with the world’s desires. Like soap, we try to hold on, but these disguised “gifts” slip right through our fingers. We become possessed and enraged, murdering our innocence and pouting over what we cannot have. We throw tantrums and shackle ourselves to the wall, all the while pretending we are the victim of our stupidity. We flip the switch on ourselves as darkness consumes us and the light becomes a distant memory. Obsession leaks in, and it’s too late before we realize we never needed the flickering light to live.

One day, a wealthy man came to Jesus and asked, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus replied by telling him he must keep all the commandments. Proudly, the man replied, “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth. (Mark 10:20)” Jesus calmly commanded, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me. (v. 21)” The man left disheartened, “for he had great possessions. (v. 22)”

Unfortunately, we are like the man who has great possessions. Notice that Jesus said the man would have “treasure in heaven.” The man’s possessions meant such a great deal to him, that it outweighed his anticipation to receive treasures in heaven. He became so obsessed with the worldly possessions; they began to define him – like the green light that flickers. He abandoned his true love for something that fades.

Fortunately, everything we need is right in front of us. It is not in the parties we throw, or the people we know; it is not in the classes we take and pass, the education we earn, or the job we work. We do not find our purpose in the television we purchase or the vacations we take. Our life, our hope, and our purpose is found in Christ and Christ alone. He is our fortress, our refuge (read the book of Psalm), and our lover. No wonder Jesus told the rich man to sell all he has! Our riches cause chaos, like it did with Gatsby. Our identity is in God, and as long as we are reaching out for the green light, we are only living out an illusion.

We are encouraged to keep our eyes on him. Proverbs 4:25-27 provides the wisdom we need to stay focused on what is right: “Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.” And the green light? Do not look at it. It flickers, it wavers, and it is a tempting call to walk down the wide path of temporary riches and fame. Keep your eyes on the Kingdom of Heaven, and treasures of the heavenly realm will await you.

The Love Connection

One day, long ago, God decided to create something around him. Not only were the birds of the fields, the water, the trees, and everything that has breath created, but God did something that connected us to him. Hebrews 2:7 says, "Yet you made them (us) only a little lower than the angels." God's connection with human flesh did not stop there. While we were made a little lower than angels, the connection had to be deeper. Enter Jesus, who did not just die a horrible, bloody death so we may live, but also so that we may have a connection with purpose, passion, and ultimately, the Father who governs over all creation. Hebrews 2:14 even clarifies that Jesus became flesh "because God's children are human beings - the Son also became flesh and blood."
Again in Hebrews 2 (verse 11), God sent his son so that "...Jesus and the ones he makes holy have the same father." In other words, Jesus was "given a position 'a little lower than the angels'" like us so that Jesus could connect us to God. Furthermore, since "the Son did not come to help angels [but] he came to help the descendants of Abraham" (Hebrews 2:16), "therefore, it was necessary for him to be made in every respect like us" (verse 17). Jesus came to help the humans of the world, and did so in human form so we may relate and connect to a much bigger purpose - that being God and his plan for every individual.
What is most shocking is how Hebrews 2 concludes. "Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested" (verse 18). Here, it shows that Jesus has gone through the biggest test, bigger than any test we can go through. Therefore, we can humbly go before God knowing that his Son was put through much worse. Now, because of Jesus and God's decision to place him "a little lower than the angels," a perfect leader for the sinners of the world, we can walk across the bridge and into the arms of the Father above. This beloved connection shows that God did not just want a world to stare at and watch closely, but he wanted a world He could give love to and receive love from. He desired to have a world that he could interact with, stay connected to, and extend unfathomable grace, mercy, and hope to. He so strongly desired a connection because he knew that was what we needed. We needed a bridge. We needed hope. So, Jesus came in human form (someone we can talk to and relate to) and went through human pain and suffering so that the connection could be made new again.
God, who is higher than the lowly sinners of the world, has found a bridge to us; that bridge is Jesus Christ, and he was sent as one of us in perfect form, yet died as if a sinner. Now, it is because of Jesus and his human form that "Jesus is not ashamed to call [us] his brothers and sisters." We, as disgusting sinners, can be connected to God because we are called brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ, who is God's Son.
Do not forget that Jesus did not just come so we may live (as incredible as that is), but He came so that we may know God, and so that God can call us His own - "to bring many children into glory."

Being Faithful: Selfish-less

Being faithful to a calling is never easy. Most of the time, we do not want to be governed by another schedule, plan, or set of commands. Our dream vacation consists of what we want to do, when we want to do it; and, every hour of the day is organized by you, and you alone. Even when someone confronts you with the notion that their wish for you is the best option, you don't want to believe them, even if it is the truth. An independent life with no strings attached is exactly what we want. Our culture complains when we have to pay bills, listen to a job training seminar, attend classes on the weekend, and an endless list of other things. Worse yet, we think it is OK to complain; we think we are doing ourselves and those around us some kind of favor. When we moan, we want someone to agree with us in order to ultimately make us feel better. When someone agrees with us, it makes us want to complain more. And, the cycle begins.
What selfish people we are! We gravitate towards getting our way, and when we do not, we throw the tantrums like the ones we spent most of our time teaching children not to do. Our complaining is like a virus that convinces us that our lives are far more important than anyone else's. As Christians, this selfish behavior should alarm us. We should immediately wake up from this deceitful attitude and start walking on the path we are called to engage - and do it with a positive attitude.
If the Lord has called me to follow through on a command, He most likely will not tolerate a negative attitude. However, we still gravitate towards our desires and our own goals. On the outside, we smile and nod, knowing that God will be pleased with us when we cheerfully follow his commands. On the inside, we groan, moan, whine, complain, mumble, daudle, and shake our heads. We may even cut as deep as cussing, refusing, and labelling God as a failure to bring us happiness. As a result, we crush the relationship with God we built. Like a cheating wife, we threaten God and express our desire to walk away from the marriage.
Proverbs is a beautiful book because it talks all about wisdom. Chapter 3, verse 3 says, "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart." No matter what, be faithful in what you do. Being faithful means sticking to the cause, no matter what the condition. It means focusing on what you were called to do, and doing it with love and devotion to the Lord. It does not matter how we feel or what we want. In the end, we need to be faithful without expecting anything in return - with 100% of our effort. Furthermore, faithfulness means loyally committing to His Ways and doing "everything without grumbling" (Phillipians 2:14).
Moses is a good example of someone who had a difficult time accepting God's purpose for him.  "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt" (Exodus 3:11), Moses quizzically asked. Even after God reassured Moses, saying, "I will be with you", Moses still had questions of doubt. In the same way, what God has called us to, He will bring us through. God is with us and will pull us through what we are called to do. As chosen ones, God will ensure that as long as we are faithful, we will not fail.
So, since God will bring us through what He called us to, let us have an attitude that spreads the Gospel; "Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth" (Psalm 57:11). Remove the grumbling, the complaining, and the selfishness, and instead replace it with praise and devotion. Most importantly, be faithful and "serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people" (Ephesians 6:7).

Enough is Enough

A little bit more... a little bit more... a little bit more. We are never satisfied. We are always searching for more, making our ability to be content one of our biggest weaknesses. Once we feel content, we find ourselves comparing to others who "appear" to have more.When we feel we don't have enough, we want more; we get some, and hope we can receive more. We go on and on, never recovering from this problem with material possessions.
But the baby wasn't born yesterday. The Israelite community struggled with this when the Manna reigned down from the heavens. Exodus 16:15 mentions Moses telling the Israelites to 'gather as much as they need,' and nothing more. Verse 18 says, "the one who gathered much did not have too much, and the one who gathered little did not have too little. Everyone had gathered just as much as they needed." In other words, every had just enough. The people gathered everyday, and everyday grabbing just enough. However, the seventh day rolled around and God specifically commanded the Israelites to hold off on the Manna. Yet, despite God resting on the seventh day, the people still went out looking for Manna. They found none, for Moses had specifically told them no Manna would be in sight (v. 26). Sadly, the Israelites thought of themselves and what they thought they needed.
But let's backtrack. Each day the Israelites collected the Manna, they could not save it for the next day. Despite Moses' command to not save it, some of the Israelites still tried to save it, only to find out the manna would be rotten, full of maggots, and inedible. The Israelites wanted to save their Manna in order to have more enough, and God reminded them that just enough is perfectly enough.
Aren't we just like the Israelites? Aren't we always desiring more? In the New Testament (Luke 3), John proclaims to the crowd he is about to baptize how they can avoid the wrath of God. When the tax collectors asked John, he replied, "Don't collect any more than you are required to (v. 13)."
God provides us more than enough, but so often we are unsatisfied and lose the content spirit we are called to have (read Hebrews 13:5). All you need is God, and his presence is near to you; He promises he will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrew 13:5). However, destruction will come your way if you try to search for something or someone more satisfying.
The Lord is enough. Be satisfied in Him, and always remember that God knows exactly what you need, and He will supply it as water supplies life for a plant (Matthew 6:25-30).