How to Zoom Out of Our Struggle

It was the beginning of the one of the many school weeks throughout the year, the students were at PE, and I knew I had 35 minutes free to grade, check e-mails, lesson plan for the following week, and/or even clean out my personal desk drawers that symbolize my neglect to organize.

Instead, on my way back from dropping the students off at the gym, I found myself in the Dean’s pocket-sized office that comfortably fits three, but is often used as a therapist center for up to six students at a time. Aside from dean of K-6 students, Heather wears many hats between 7:30 and 3:30 including, but not limited to, school counselor, 504 extraordinaire, cross walk duty aid, morning drop-off and afternoon pickup monitor, and teacher evaluator.

At approximately 1:35, she becomes a crutch for a teacher to lean on when he is limping through the week on a Tuesday.

That teacher is me.

I drag myself into Heather’s office, wearing a button-down patterned shirt with purple sharks on it for no other reason than the hope that throughout the day, I would look down at the shirt I chose to wear and think, “I am wearing a shark shirt! What could go wrong? Only bright, shiny moments are ahead for me!” Unfortunately, the shirt did nothing to save me throughout the day, and my body language showed it.

Upon entering the small office, I stare at the two chairs on the left, neighbors to one another and pressed against the wall facing her desk like they would in the waiting room of a doctor’s office. I slump in it because that was all my energy could afford me. I didn’t have the time nor the energy to properly sit up as if being interviewed for a position at EDUPRIZE for the first time. Heather knew me well, having taught 5^th grade on the same team as me five or six years prior and seeing me step in and out of her office for a variety of reasons since she became the Dean of Students several years ago. Therefore, I no longer felt I was meeting her as one professional to another, but as a friend needing a fresh dose of encouragement and some good wisdom in order to move forward through the grueling school year.

The meeting was mostly about one particular child’s behavior irritating me because I simply could not transition through each subject smoothly with his distractive behavior from time to time. I wanted to stick to my mission statement by loving him like Jesus does, being a light to him and supporting him with unconditional service to his needs. The more I tried, the more worn out and bitter I became. Is trying to be like Jesus supposed to be like this? Draining? The thoughts I had were barely identifiable because of the fatigue I felt just thinking about the ways I needed to improve my approach to this student. I was zoomed in on the problem so much, I could hardly sit up straight enough to think of good solutions – every scenario that could help this child fell flat over imaginary worst-cases that would come out of it. Since I was zoomed in, any big picture opportunity to help the child grow was blurred out by the fear that all the strategies would leave more doubt and frustration.

A lot of words and strategies were exchanged that day in the meeting with Heather, bearing resemblance to those past meetings where you walk out so overwhelmed with all that was said, you don’t even recall the topic of the meeting. Yet, one thing Heather said rang in my ears louder than those ridiculous fire alarms that causes everyone to have severe hearing loss:

“Try to focus on the good things happening in your classroom, even if they don’t always come from him.”

Suddenly, I felt I didn’t need to hold on to every word, strategy, and encouragement Heather calmly spoke over me; that was it.

Did it dramatically change the way my school year went? Did it turn this child’s entire year around? Did it completely change the course of my entire career? No, and I would argue isn’t even the means to an end with this student. Ignoring the child’s struggles won’t redirect and lead him in the right direction. Still, it gave me something to work with, because Heather’s point was simple:

Don’t become so narrow-minded on the problems in front of you when so much good is happening, including the current struggle.

Yet, my struggle is common, and not exclusive to my profession. When we see an obstacle in front of us - whether that be a sour relationship, a mental struggle where you question your value, a workplace situation, or issues out of your control – we tend to zoom in on that problem and lose sight of what God could be doing through the circumstance; he may even be providing a way out!

In my Heather meeting, my way out was to see my classroom with a bigger scope while allowing the issues with the one student a chance to work itself out with the current strategies I had in place.

When we think of the Israelites of the Bible, the ones freed from bondage of the Egyptians, a word comes to mind: Complaining. The Israelites were constantly zoomed in on their problems and refused to see the good things around them – namely, God’s provision and protection!

Isaiah 43:18-19 speaks of God’s perspective, despite Israel’s constant complaining and remembrance of the old times in Egypt (Numbers 20:5 – “Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to this terrible place? It has no grain or figs, grapevines or pomegranates. And there is no water to drink!”):

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

In other words, stop focusing on the problems and start living within God’s blessings.

Allowing God to take care of us by providing solutions – “making a way in the wilderness” – is how we can partner with Him to solve are greatest problems! We can see the good happening through the struggle and after it – “I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up…” We cannot see God’s provision today by dwelling on yesterday’s problems.

This includes going through the struggle too! As I continued to press in through the struggles with the student, I began to shift my perspective by trusting that God was creating a new thing in the midst of my troubles. If I continued to receive the struggle as an irredeemable dilemma, I wouldn’t be able to zoom out enough to perceive the new thing God is doing through me and him.

In fact, we can have hope in the struggle, because even if we don’t see the fruit of our labor now, 2 Corinthians 4:17 promises us this nugget of good news:

“For our light and momentary struggles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”

From a zoomed in perspective, where our problem takes up every square millimeter of our mind, we can’t make room for the Holy Spirit to give us a fresh perspective and even minimize our problem in view of God’s sovereign power and authority.

It is imperative that we partner with God to help us see what he sees in the middle of our storms and momentary struggles.

Do not waste any of your time trying to overcome your battles on your own. You may be able to temporarily wash away the struggle with a worldly lens, but eventually it will only keep you zoomed in to the problem more down the road; possibly even more than you were before you tried to sweep it under the rug.

The key is to hand over your struggle to God so he can adjust your lens and empower you to see the situation through his eyes. When you do that, you begin to entrust him to zoom you out so you can see the bigger picture of what he’s doing with that moment and through you.

Another way to describe God adjusting your lens is found in Romans 12:2:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Let God transform your perspective of the problem even if it is likely he won’t remove the problem. When you partner with him, though, it is guaranteed He will transform – adjust – your lens to see the problem differently; from his perspective.

This should be the first step towards conquering your daily obstacles: partnership with God. Declare it, too. Speak life over your partnership with God. Prioritize his voice in your life, because when you do, God will give you peace that cannot be found anywhere else on earth (see John 14:27).

Paul wrote a letter to the believers in Philippi, and in it, he gave the church the solution on how to replace anxiety and fear with peace from God. These verses, found in Philippians 4:6-7, are what partnership with God looks like:

“…in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Pray. Praise. Present. Partnership with God means praying for his perspective to be made clear to you, praising him for all he is doing through you, and presenting your problems to him so he can take of you through them.

This is what zooming out looks like. When we pray, praise, and present, we not only partner with God through our problems, we also focus on the good through it, similar to me focusing on the good happening in my classroom. The best news is that this “good” is not limited to classrooms – this good is God, and he is our ever-present help in time of need.

And he is doing a new thing in and through you.

Do you perceive it?

 

Your Name is Important to God

“It’s Key-Miah!” She loudly interrupted me as I took roll on my first day. 

I mispronounced her name and quickly discovered the best alternative to taking attendance was to call last names for the first week or so, then when I know first names in private, I can have the confidence to take roll quietly to save myself embarrassment. Besides, with the type of first names coming through my classroom door, I likely had better luck doing it this way.

As a rookie teacher, fresh out of college and three weeks into a move from Michigan to Arizona, I was culture shocked into a classroom of names that could be pronounced three different ways.

Was it Kee-em-yah? Keem-yah? Kime-yah? Is it Aaliyah? Kiemyah was how you spelled it, so you can loosen up on the heavy criticism. Despite having what I felt was flawless justification for mispronouncing the young, confident student’s name (possibly named by phonemically unaware and uneducated parents), she was also justified to react the way she did. Why? Because she knew as well as I did that her name is significant – it represents her identity.

The significance of a name dates back to Bible times, when mothers and fathers would name their children because of what it translated to. Samuel was named by his mother Hannah because “I asked the Lord for him” (1 Samuel 1:20); Isaac was born with his name because “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me” (Genesis 21:6); Esau was given his name at birth because “his whole body was like a hairy garment” (Genesis 25:25). Names are critical to one’s identity. As a teacher, I’ve had my fair share of getting names mixed up. When I do, it’s the same reaction, one of offense: 

“Did you just call me Jacob?” one student would say with disgust written all over his face. 

“My name is not Amanda!” another would blurt out, dismissing the possibility that the error was an accident. 

And don’t get me started on classroom where multiple kids have the same name. If you forget to give each one a separate nickname to distinguish the two or three early on in the school year, you’ll constantly have each one approach your desk when you only wanted to speak to one of them.

“But you called my name,” they would respond in unison, as if they practiced for months in anticipation of this day.

“I know, I meant that Dylan.” I point at the correct Dylan in hopes it would correct my error and set all moods straight.

Arguing back, they would all figure out creative ways to say, “Well how am I supposed to know.”

If you number them, they are temporarily satisfied until all but one of them discovers a nickname like Doc or DJ to distinguish themselves from anyone else who has remotely the same name. Now, there is no longer a Dylan, Dylan, and Dylan. There’s a DJ, Doc, and Dylan. Why? They want to stand out, be unique, and have a name like no one else. When they are given the wrong name or given a nickname without consent, they get frustrated, bitter, and offended.

One year, a student told another student, “Please stop calling me Victor, because my name is Victoria and…” she hesitated, “Victor is a boy’s name.”

Aside from taking pride in her own name, she also liked being Victoria or Vickie because it identified her with a girl name – because she is a girl. Not just any girl, a girl named Victoria or Vickie.

Outside of the classroom and Bible, celebrities take tremendous pride in their name. Russell Westbrook, a guard for the Los Angeles Lakers (NBA basketball team) in 2022, was being harassed by a fan of the opposing team. After the NBA game where he was being taunted for his playing ability, he was interviewed and said, “When it comes to basketball, I don’t mind the criticism of missing and making shots. But the moment it becomes where my name is getting shamed, it becomes an issue.” What Westbrook said is what many can’t argue with because they too would feel the same. Why? Our name is connected to our identity. A legacy we build the moment we are born. Whatever we connect to our identity we want to protect at all costs.

This is what humans all have in common: a longing to be accepted, recognized, understood, and respected. Names encourage that. Whether a person is bullied and called names they hate or that person is called lovely names that remind them of their worth and value, we are constantly aware that a name is deeply connected to our sense of purpose and calling.

So, how do the importance of names relate to the Jesus and the Word of God? Simply put, Jesus knows us by name, and he values it the same, if not more than we do. If you’ve gone to any contemporary, likely non-denominational, Gen-Z church, you’ve probably heard the most common song sung by Cory Asbury about Jesus being good at this whole identity thing and making us feel good about our place in the world:

"Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God / Oh it chases me down / fights 'til I'm found / leaves the 99 / And I couldn't earn it / I don't deserve it / still you give yourself away..." 

You’re probably singing the worship song in your head right now, and it likely means you’ve been to a Gen-Z Non-Denominational church. What does “leave the 99” mean? According to this song, it means Jesus will come for you and find you no matter what it takes. It means Jesus will step away from the 99 sheep to save the one who has gone astray, and it is Biblical (see Matthew 18:12-14 and Luke 15:3-7 for reference), so kudos to Cory and every church that sings it on Sunday morning.

But Jesus going after the one even if it means temporarily leaving behind the 99 to get you isn’t the only reason Jesus is a good shepherd.

He knows our name.

According to John 10:14-15:

“I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.”

What does this verse mean? He knows the name you identify as because your identity matters to you. It separates you from the rest of the crowd. People argue, but I don’t want to be known or stand out; I want to blend in. No, you don’t want to be embarrassed. Blending in is the best way to not be embarrassed because it is synonymous with hiding. I believe we are known by Jesus in a non-embarrassing way. What Jesus means is he does not just know you because of the church you go to. He does not know you as one of the crowd. He is aware of your existence in the flock and outside of the flock, you matter to him. In a world of someone always outdoing, outsmarting, out-exercising, and outliving you, Jesus still looks over at you and knows you are an individual with specific needs – whether you’re sheep #1 or sheep #2,178. You’re not just one of three Dylans, you’re Doc, and Jesus lays his life down for Doc.

What makes this verse so important is not just that it demonstrates Jesus’ overwhelming, unconditional love for you and your identity, but he enables you to know his voice and respond to it so he can lead you through every aspect of your life.

John 10:3 says,

“The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.”

When we get to the realization that our name – our identity and what makes us unique from the crowd – is important to Jesus, we are more responsive to the voice of God because we catch a glimpse of how in love he is with who we are. You are not just Sheep #382, you’re Amanda, Ashley, Jacob, Isaiah, Doc, Joshua, etc. You are much more than a number, or an Average Joe. You are exceptional, made in His image, and “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).

The God of the Bible is a God who not only cares about his flock, but cares about each individual sheep of that flock. We don’t respond well to people who are a perceived threat. When we understand that God is not a threat to our name, we desire to hear from him and help lead us to victory, especially in the midst of our deepest, darkest trials.

Jesus loves you, your name, and your identity so much, he will fight for you to be found. Even if it means dying on the cross so you are no longer buried beneath sin, he will pursue you and your heart – not because you’re part of some holy flock or that you love him more than once a week, but because you were made to be loved.

You were made to be in relationship with him.

You were made to know him and be known by him.

When you see the depth of his love for you, you will be more apt to listen to his voice and follow it, because you are aware of how far he is willing to go to demonstrate that love for you.

Romans 5:8,

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." 

Jesus comes for you whether you feel worthy or not. That's how God demonstrates his love for you: he calls your name by dying on the cross so you can be led out of that condemning mindset and into freedom with him. 

He died for you and your name, because you are important to him. He fought and won against sin so that, instead of being destroyed by it, you could overcome it and be in relationship with him, the Good Shephard who knows you, calls you by name, leads you, and lays his life down for you because your name is important to God.

Handling Stress Like Jesus

Stress, like love, is universal. Because it is universal, most people can relate when the common phrase, “I am stressed out” or “I am overwhelmed” is used when a friend asks for an update on life. Aside from the word “stress” being tossed around at most post-workday gatherings at the local wine-and-dine restaurants as a response to “How are you?”, the overwhelmed feeling is often the reason so many see a therapist or a motivating factor for why we leave a high-paying job; it can also often be a debilitating reason we remove ourselves from social circles, a great relationship, or a reminder of why our childhood was considered traumatic. Stress is so powerful, we often get prescribed medications by our doctor in order to prevent long-term and short-term anxiety, depression, or worse, thoughts of suicide.

In healthy Christian circles, stress is met with prayer, intervention of the Holy Spirit, meditating on the Word and promises of God, and even innocent fun activities such as ax throwing, getting a manicure, or grilling with friends and family to wash away some of that stress. Some of those fun, innocent activities also happens in secular circles, but the point is, stress can run and ruin lives if not properly handled with care. Growing up, my dad made sure to enlighten me by explaining the difference between stress and stressed out, the former often motivating us to do what needs to be done and even reminding us that we need the S-word to discover the potential we have to reach our goals. We are stressed because we care about the outcome, essentially. 

However, we stress out because we let the fear of the worst-case scenario will become a reality and ruin our lives, or at least traumatize us for 10-20 years. Anyone who loves you and wants what’s best for you would hope you avoid feeling stressed out at all costs. Unfortunately, “stressed out” is what Satan finds most amusing because it is at this point where temptation appears more satisfying than the Truth itself (see Matthew 4 as a reference). Stressed out does not happen without stress first taking root. Stressed out is stress out of control. Paul, in 2 Corinthians 10, says that to wage war against the powers of the world by demolishing arguments and claims against God starts when we “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (verse 5), because the Gospel of Jesus Christ is persuasive when you observe the Truth of who God is, and when you allow your thought life to turn from disobedience and turn towards the Truth, the evidence of God’s narrative will speak for itself in a mighty way – mightier than any weapon the world uses. Stressed out occurs when we do not take an active, offensive approach to the thoughts that flood our minds when we are stressed. Paul says we need to take captive our thoughts because, just like stress, when we don’t submit our thoughts to God, it can become a destructive weapon that can not only destroy us and the great blessings God gives us (e.g. relationships, friendships, vocations, the will of God, etc.), but our relationship with God. 

If we are not careful, our thoughts in the stressed stage could set up an argument and pretense against God – example: Going from “Why would you do this to me God?” to “You are not a good God, because you allow this to happen in my life.” When we are stressed out, and continue to let our thoughts wander down dangerous roads, we become undisciplined in measuring up the thoughts we think and the feelings we feel to the Truth of God. In addition, we forget that Jesus experienced it too! Let’s take a look at where Jesus experienced arguably the most intense form of stressed out in his lifetime. 

Sure, I would be stressed out if Satan approached me in the wilderness after 40 days and 40 nights of fasting, but I am not referring to Matthew 4, when the ”tempter” came to Jesus to convince him to jump of cliffs and turn stones to bread. Instead, let’s look at the stress Jesus felt right before (12-15 hours before he was arrested) his captors had seized him in order to be crucified on the cross: 

 “They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I pray.’ He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,’ he said to them. ‘Stay here and keep watch.’ Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. ‘Abba, Father,’ he said, ‘everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.’ Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. ‘Simon,’ he said to Peter, ‘are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’” – Mark 14:32-37 

The big argument I have heard when people feel immense amount of stress – you can call it stressed out or distressed, but, in my opinion, they mean the same thing – is that “no one knows or understands what I’m going through.” However, not only did Jesus feel copious amounts stress, but he admitted to Peter, James, and John before his arrest, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death (Mark 14:34 NLT)” To me, that sounds like stressed out; another version, the NIV, translated, “…[Jesus] began to be deeply distressed and troubled, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow…” If I were to describe my stress using other words, I may speak like Jesus did here, though if I were to speak of death within the same breath, I would be exaggerating. However, I don’t think Jesus was exaggerating, and if I were about to be handed over and arrested by my “betrayer” (Mark 14:42) in order to be crucified and tortured to death, I would probably compare my grief and distress to death as well. 

According to www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov, “Stress responses are normal reactions to environmental or internal perturbations and can be considered adaptive in nature. Distress occurs when stress is severe, prolonged, or both.” In my opinion, this sounds like stressed out. An article about stress and grief from www.webmd.com says, “Stress links the emotional and physical aspects of grief.” Meaning, the grief Jesus probably experienced caused more stress and tension physically and emotionally. Whether we use distressed, stressed out, or grief to describe our intense level of stress, it sounds like semantics to me. The point is, Jesus was so stressed out about his impending, inevitable betrayal and death, that he was feeling the weight and pressure the grief and distress was having on him before the events even unfolded. 

Since stress is universal, and we all experience varying degrees of it, let’s take a look at how Jesus handled the most intense version of it (both physically and emotionally): 

1. He admitted his pain 

2. He approached God with it; he prayed 

3. He worshipped God by declaring what God can do and what he is capable of 

4. Despite his stress, he honored God through commitment to the original plan – he did not forget what God’s plan was 

5. He accepted his role and did not complain 

Instead of using our stress as justification to attack God and demand that either he fix the situation or we threaten to cease the relationship, we should take notes on how Jesus handled a level of stress beyond our own comprehension: he dealt with rejection and betrayal from his closest friends, was publicly humiliated, and sacrificed eternity in Heaven for earthly humiliation and suffering. His mission to set the captives free from the bondage of sin required a crown of thorns and unimaginable pain – physical, emotional, psychological. If anyone knew stress to its fullest extent, it was Jesus. And if Jesus could get past his stress to complete the mission, we can too. 

How? For starters, Jesus prioritized his commitment to the will of the Father. Jesus demonstrated what a life centered on God looks like, and his focus was unwavering. In the book of John alone, check out how Jesus humbly credits the Father during his ministry: 

1. “…I speak what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him” - John 8:28-29 

2. “…now the Son of Man is glorified and God is glorified in him” - John 13:31 

3. “…so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” – John 14:13 

4. “…if you loved me, you would be glad I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I.” – John 14:28 

5. “…I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me.” – John 14:31 

6. “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit…” – John 15:8 

If we track the life of Jesus, we see how he handled the pressure he was put under: he immersed himself in the community around him with his disciples, he worshipped God the Father and credited Him for his ministry, and he walked with humility and gratitude. Jesus models in each of these verses that God deserves the glory and praise through sickness, health, suffering, victory, and in this case, stress. We may not have all of the answers, and sometimes we may hear ourselves utter a paraphrased version of “take this cup from me” when we feel “overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” Yet, despite how we feel in the moment of stress, we can still find the strength to say, “not my will, but what God will.”

Is it easier said than done? Absolutely, but at a minimum, we can rest in the plans of God in the midst of our stress, for He alone is the strength we need to overcome the worst of days. Amen!